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Home > Child Sexual Abuse > Signs and Help


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Helping the child talk about this experience

About the trauma of sexual abuse is the first step to recovering from it.  

Before encouraging the child to talk however, it is important to first understand why they don’t talk about sexual abuse themselves, and what enables them to talk about it sometimes later.  

Why They Don’t Talk

·       “Mummy and Daddy won’t believe me!”

·       “I don’t even know how to say what happened, I just feel weird about it”

·        “Uncle didn’t really mean to be bad to me or did he?”

·        “My teacher might fail me if I tell mommy”

·       “I am scared, Uncle told me not to tell anyone, it’s a secret.”

·       Age of the child.

 

Why They Talk, Eventually

·       Awareness and understanding of the abuse.

·       Discussion with an understanding parent or other adult with whom they are comfortable.

·       Inability to bear the abuse anymore.

·       Physical illnesses following sexual abuse.

·       Secure adult relationships that provide confidence to deal with prior trauma

·       Revelation during therapy for any other reason

·       Desire to prevent abuse of other children

When children finally do talk about abuse, it’s very important to handle it carefully.

Rule # 1: Remember that the child is not at fault.

Rule # 2: Make sure the child understands Rule # 1.

Other rules in handling disclosure…

·   Keep calm

·   Believe the child

·   Listen to the child

·   Answer the child’s questions honestly

·   Respect the child’s privacy

·   Give positive messages: “I know you could not help it” or “I am proud of you for telling”

·   Report the abuse

·   Arrange a medical exam

·   Get professional help

It is of utmost importance to keep open communication channels and have a good constant rapport with the child.

DON'T

  • Blame the child

  • Panic or overreact

  • Pressure the child to talk

  • Confront offender in child’s presence

  • Make the child repeat the story

Remember, disclosure is difficult for children. It may be days, months, years or even never, for a victim to talk about sexual abuse. Be patient and supportive.

URL - www.arpan.org.in/csa.html#anchor5csa

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