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Ours by choice by Nilma Mehta

About the Book

Ours by choice is written for Indian adoptive parents with reference to the Indian socio-cultural context, but it addresses issues relevant to adoptive parents all over the world. Perhaps the book will also serve social workers and other professionals concerned with adoption, who might use it as a source of practical information based on personal experience.

The philosophy and approaches referred to in this book represent my views and convictions.

Through writing Ours by Choice I hope to assist couples who might be considering a decision to adopt, and to explain the process of adoption to those who have made the decision. The book is also for parents who have already adopted and who will be dealing with post-adoption issues.

There are terms and stylistic rules followed in this book that I would like to explain with reference to the context of this book, so that they will be interpreted in the same manner by every reader.

When referring to the adoptive child, I have used the feminine gender - she, her and so on. This is because the girl child in India has traditionally been underprivileged, and accorded reduced important in the family; I hope to work to modify this attitude in a small way through my choice of terminology. Please remember that I am actually referring to both boys and girls, though I write ‘she’ or ‘her’.

1Parents who are considering adoption or have already adopted a child are referred to as adoptive parents.

2The mother who has given up her child for adoption is interchangeably referred to as the natural mother, the biological mother or the birth mother.

3When an adopted child grows up, she is referred to as an adoptee.

4.The ‘choice’ referred to in the book’s title is the conscious decision that a couple makes to achieve parenthood through adoption.

5.When the book speaks of ‘choosing’ a child, this refers to the collab- orative process by which the social worker brings the adoptive parents together with a child. It does not involve choosing one child and rejecting many others. Rather, it is a process in which the social worker plays an important role in matching what she interprets as your expectations with the children available for adoption. The final choice, however, is yours, as adoptive parents.

Source : http://www.oursbychoice.com/parentingthroughadoption